Why should I ever forget this all?

She was the strongest woman I have ever come across, but with the mildest of the pain I fall in she will get her eyes all moist. Her soft kindness was my favourite, and my resistance to wrong things was her favourite. We had differences at every point. But, deep down we settled to be the same.

We would argue all day what each of us wants to do in the evening and when the time arrives we would argue to do what the other one wanted. She would crave to see me smile back when I would understand that she let her desires off for me.

She can’t keep herself off the random little kids on the road. And, I used to like them too, but, after seeing her sit on the road and talk to that one kid. I freaked out how can I ever be with someone so sweet. Since then, kids without her presence have been scary to me. How can I ever make them feel like she does?

I love dogs more than human beings (Except a few people) and she would get frightened even with the name of it. With her hands around my arm and nails deep in it, she would come close to them each time. It would leave marks on my arm every time she came closer to dogs, she did just because it was for me. I adore she wants to overcome her fears for me. I even adore the marks she leaves on me.  When I see her eyes with fear and still wanting to give up her fear for one second. I slip more in her.

She wasn’t afraid of me, she believed me. Whilst times made me fall and even I lost hopes on myself she patted my back and said I was doing good. In the world of people leaving when their lives are shattered, she stood there. My Guardian Angel.

I on the other side was afraid of mere attachments; because before her the world had just pushed me down the valley and left me there. But, she pulled me up with just her presence and walked all the way with her hand in mine. ‘Mother’ isn’t just someone who gives birth to you, she was my mother in every possible way other than that, she made me the new man I could never dream of becoming.

She would shout at me and throw things on me for not eating on time. And right after that would feed with her own hands with plate after plate of oversized portions of food with a spoon of love.  In the end, she would just smile and walk away, with a satisfaction and a million dollar smile.

She’s wasn’t just different.  She was divine.

She prays at 11:11 with eyes closed. And for that whole minute, I would just smile and see her calm face. I never trusted these, but, when my  11:11 dream was true even before I asked for it in front of my eyes, I had to start trusting in it.

In times of fear, I would take her name because all my positive energies came from her. And she, on the other hand, would misplace my name to her friend’s names while talking and get angry looks because she won’t be sorry and she would laugh on it.

And while on random long treks, she will just stop in middle and would try to quit, and with my fake promises of just ‘Few More Steps’, I would pull her all the way to the end. She knows it’s a lie, she knows that every single time, but just like the first time she believes is true every single time. Together we coined ‘Few More Steps’ and that will always be our personal inspiration mantra.

 

Some nights, she would tell me her fears. I would listen and tell her ‘I’m there’. Those words were enough to pump security in her, and God knows how she did that. Her battles were fierce; I could only tell her she’s strong enough. And, which she is.  And at the end listening to me being silly to make her smile she will say I’m smiling sitting miles away I would say you lied and she would ask how did I find out? I would say I know the difference the word “smile” she says smiling and while faking to make me feel right.

Other nights I would show her my scars and she would heal them with her touch. The touch: so supernatural that I still can’t believe her miracles.

And, the day I fell. Returned home with mere life on my skin, she grabbed my soul along with me in a tight hug. With tears ravine me telling her, ‘I failed’. She just started telling me every dream of mine and told I deserved to be there, after every one of them.

When she cries I talk to her eyes, we both knew that was stupid. But, every single time, that stupid thing made her smile even with eyes filled with tears.

And when I drive she would just put her head on my back and smile a little. People say a smile is silent but, even in the noisiest roads, I have heard her smiling with her head behind my back. That symphony of her smile and the peace in her breath. I wish I could tell her I know it. But, I choose not to.

I look at her talking all day long and she flutters her eyes like little Rubies trapped inside butterfly wings and smiles back. I forget what she says and ask her “What?” She knows what happened and would start again, the sentence. But sometimes she would fight to say I never listen to her or sometimes she would just smile back and love me more.

With weird combinations of traits we two different souls united under the sole canopy of Love.
I know she’s it.

So, now you say why should I ever forget this all?